Poor sex life

 

“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘The man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years, my husband and I slept on bunk beds.”

~ Joan Rivers, Comedian

An affair

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”

His second friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn’t mine.”

Paddy says: “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.” Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.

“No, I’m serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.”

Courtesy : funmunch.com

Another man

 

 

Husband : “When I’m gone, you’ll never find another man like me”.

Wife :” What makes you think I’d want another man like you?”

 

 

Meaning of Wife

 

 

Husband asks , “Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

It means-”Without Information Fighting Everytime”

Wife replies,” No, It means- “With Idiot For Ever !!!”

 

 

Husband, wife & he

 

 

Husband comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He souts and shoots his friend to death.

Wife says, “If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends”.

 

 

Clever neighbor

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower & the doorbell rings.

After a few seconds of arguing over who should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.

Then she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I will give you $800 just to drop that towel that you have on" After thinking for a moment , the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quickly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs.

When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower " who was that ?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, " did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story :

Share critical credit information with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!

Trouble at bed

 

 

Despite old saying, “Don’t take your troubles to your bed”, many women still sleep with their husbands. ~ Unknown

 

 

 

Superman to Doberman

 

 

A man just before marriage : ‘Superman’

After marriage : ‘Gentleman’

After 10 years of marriage : ‘Watchman’

After 20 years of marriage : ‘Doberman’