Son to Dad : What is the difference between confidence and confidential.
Dad to Son : You are my son, I’m confident. Your friend is also my son, that’s confidential !
Tears is the hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Husband : “When I’m gone, you’ll never find another man like me”.
Wife :” What makes you think I’d want another man like you?”
A guy goes to a party without his wife. He hears other guy say to his wife, “Pass the sugar, honey,” as they were having dinner. The guy is inspired.
The next morning , at breakfast with his wife, he tells her, “Pass the bacon, pig”.
Husband asks , “Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
It means-“Without Information Fighting Everytime”
Wife replies,” No, It means- “With Idiot For Ever !!!”
Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are yours?
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.
Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Student : Yah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.
Husband comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He souts and shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, “If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends”.
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.