By Surnames

 

 

A woman had 8 sons – all named John.

How did she call them?

“I call them by their surnames”

 

 

Free Sex costs more

 

“The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.”

~Brendan Francis, Poet

 

 

Poor sex life

 

“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘The man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years, my husband and I slept on bunk beds.”

~ Joan Rivers, Comedian

Marriage

 

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

~ Joey Adams

 

 

An affair

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”

His second friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn’t mine.”

Paddy says: “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.” Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.

“No, I’m serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.”

Courtesy : funmunch.com

Confidential

 

 

Son to Dad : What is the difference between confidence and confidential.

Dad to Son : You are my son, I’m confident. Your friend is also my son, that’s confidential !

 

 

Meaning of Wife

 

 

Husband asks , “Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

It means-”Without Information Fighting Everytime”

Wife replies,” No, It means- “With Idiot For Ever !!!”

 

 

Customer complaints

 

 

Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are yours?

No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

 

 

Husband, wife & he

 

 

Husband comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He souts and shoots his friend to death.

Wife says, “If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends”.

 

 

Stress, tension & panic

Three Feelings:

What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic is when both are pregnant.

~Unknown